March 28, 2015:
Went out to lunch with my parents, shopping, and then off to Costco. Seriously felt like summer with that 80 degree weather we’ve been having. Got dinner with Victor and Leo for Big Bang Sushi’s soft opening, and holy shit their service was so slow (I guess which was to be expected…) Wish I could’ve gotten to hang out with them more even if they just bicker all the time. Victor said he’s down to come to Outside Lands for one day for Kendrick Lamar, so I’m pretty excited if that actually happens.
March 27, 2015:
Today, I got dinner with my sister at The Barrel Room (yay for trying new places), and it was nice to catch up. We don’t really spend a ton of time together, but I thought it’d be good to when she offered me either a free meal or cash for my NY trip as a super late Christmas gift. We talked about a couple different things, and I told her how I considered moving out if I got a permanent positions somewhere. But then she mentioned that maybe it’d be better to just save up money until I can buy a place of my own. Ahh I don’t know–that was always my original plan, but then I wanted to feel more independent. But then the idea of saving money by staying at home is very, very tempting.
March 26, 2015:
One of the programs we use at work went down, so I couldn’t really get as much done, so I left at 4:30 for the first time in a long time. Killed time until I got dinner with David, which was the first real time that we were hanging out since he got back to San Diego like a week ago? We went to Dumpling Inn (which is sort of new to me? this location anyway…), and holy crap the new location is so much nicer than the old one. We didn’t really hang out for long though, because he went back to Kenneth’s apartment right after. I didn’t feel like going home, but I didn’t really know what else to do… Sigh.
March 25, 2015:
I went over to Edward’s place because we finally made the time to make banh hoi after all this time of talking about it. It was pretty solid (minus our failed attempt at making nuoc mam pha…). I really want to learn how to cook, but I haven’t put the effort into it. My mom cooks on weekdays or I end up going out, and on weekend my mom makes something quick or we eat out.
I accidentally knocked out for a bit, but when I woke up, I decided to go home instead of staying in La Jolla… that’s progress, I suppose. I’m usually too lazy to drive home.
March 24, 2015:
My assortment of random thoughts for the day:
-There’s this post that I reblogged on Tumblr a while back that resurfaced on my dashboard today. It’s a quote: “Just because your pain is understandable, doesn’t mean your behavior is acceptable.” Every time I see it, I think of you and what we went through. I don’t know if we’ll ever get past that time. I don’t know if we’re capable of changing. I don’t know.
-Lineup for Outside Lands came out today.. it’s kind of tempting. Why are music festivals always so expensive??
-“Are you working overtime because you have to or because you want to?”
Maybe I shouldn’t be working so much.
-Why are our conversations so awkward all the time? Is it my fault?
-So I ended up texting you, you actually responded, and we actually hung out? Crazy stuff.
And now you live in La Jolla, literally 5 minutes from where I work and where all my friends live. You’re right there, which makes me kind of happy, but kind of conflicted. It was easier forgetting about you when you weren’t right there. Now it’s like I theoretically should be able to hang out with you more, but I won’t. I mean, you’ve been working 5 minutes away from my house for the past few years, and it’s not like that made us hang out either. I guess hanging out just made me miss you more/wish we were still best friends. Whenever we talk, I wonder if you know how hard it’s been for me without you. It feels like it hasn’t been that difficult for you without me. Sigh. I guess it’s selfish to want to be needed, so I should stop sounding so melodramatic.
-I didn’t really eat dinner today. I didn’t have much of an appetite I suppose.
March 23, 2015:
Okay so I was definitely behind on my posts, so I’m determined to finish this one before I go to sleep.
Ugh, I don’t know how to put things into words. I started typing but everything sounded whiny or depressing, and I don’t want to sound that way.
And I don’t know if it’s because it’s super nostalgic-y or something right now, but I just really want to text you and tell you I miss you even though I know it’s probably not a good idea. Sigh.
March 22, 2015:
I had the laziest of all days. I think i literally spent almost all my time from 10:00am to 5:00pm on my couch watching TV… whoops. Edward texted me at 6:00 to see if I still wanted to get dinner, and although I considered being anti-social, I got ready and headed out. We chilled at the Public House and talked for a little while. I don’t know–I’ve talked to a few people now about my struggles, trying to get different perspectives, but in the end, I just really don’t know what I want. Sigh.
On a random note though, I really want to try more new food places, so if possible, when I hang out with people, I’m going to try to go somewhere I haven’t been before. Don’t know if it’ll actually happen, but we’ll see.