March 24, 2015:
My assortment of random thoughts for the day:
-There’s this post that I reblogged on Tumblr a while back that resurfaced on my dashboard today. It’s a quote: “Just because your pain is understandable, doesn’t mean your behavior is acceptable.” Every time I see it, I think of you and what we went through. I don’t know if we’ll ever get past that time. I don’t know if we’re capable of changing. I don’t know.
-Lineup for Outside Lands came out today.. it’s kind of tempting. Why are music festivals always so expensive??
-“Are you working overtime because you have to or because you want to?”
Maybe I shouldn’t be working so much.
-Why are our conversations so awkward all the time? Is it my fault?
-So I ended up texting you, you actually responded, and we actually hung out? Crazy stuff.
And now you live in La Jolla, literally 5 minutes from where I work and where all my friends live. You’re right there, which makes me kind of happy, but kind of conflicted. It was easier forgetting about you when you weren’t right there. Now it’s like I theoretically should be able to hang out with you more, but I won’t. I mean, you’ve been working 5 minutes away from my house for the past few years, and it’s not like that made us hang out either. I guess hanging out just made me miss you more/wish we were still best friends. Whenever we talk, I wonder if you know how hard it’s been for me without you. It feels like it hasn’t been that difficult for you without me. Sigh. I guess it’s selfish to want to be needed, so I should stop sounding so melodramatic.
-I didn’t really eat dinner today. I didn’t have much of an appetite I suppose.